Differences

It's been a very confusing few days trying to figure out what has been happening within the feminist blogsphere.

What I have worked out is that: several people whose blogs I read frequently have been, or are, unhappy, and this makes me unhappy too. I've always tried to step back and let things take their course but sometimes I worry that people are going to get badly hurt by something somebody says on a comment thread or in a post. Because no matter who says what or who believes what, we are dealing with heightened feelings because blogs are very personal spaces - which should be respected.

Respect is important - whether or not we agree with somebody, we should sometimes all agree to disagree and just get on with fighting the things that matter. I've been guilty of getting worked up with trolls in comment threads before but I've kind of learnt to take it easy and realise that you can't bend people round to thinking your way if they are determined to stick to their views at any cost.

I'm not a separatist feminist, neither am I lesbian, but I respect women that are true to themselves. I've always been attracted to men, and my partner is male. I don't think this makes me any less of a feminist, because I care very much about women and their wellbeing. Sexuality is about being what most makes you happy - about attraction and complex layers of what attracts you to a person - whether male or female. I don't believe it's 'biological imperative', and I don't think it's about 'choice' either. I think it's something that draws you to a person, and its not necessarily something anyone can explain.

Everyone comes round to their views in their own particular journey, with nuances and complex twists that not everybody shares - so therefore not everyone will have the same view about the same thing. Agreeing on particular points, and yet not always agreeing with other things - this is what makes life so much more interesting and stimulating. So long as we agree that life needs to be improved for women.

Radical feminism is a way of seeing the world, it's examining the Patriarchy in all it's forms. Just like noticing when something isn't accessible for a deaf person; seeing the world through the eyes of someone who notices things about the world that could be, and needs to be better or different in order for the world to be a better place. Life is full of different experiences and its important to respect that, no matter how much we disagree with something.